My Life: After Baby E <3

A life of diapers and books, of bottles and calculators, of toys and computers is what I have chosen. A choice that I made from the moment I saw two pink lines on what I’d like to call a pee stick. My journey since that day has been nothing short of difficult, but I would never trade it for anything in this world. My name is Elaine I am 19 years old, and I am a PROUD mother of a 19 month old.

I went to a private high school, and before I began my first day there I met the guy who eventually I’d call the father of my son. He and I began a relationship in my freshman year and continued “strong” for almost five years.

As I continued my high school career I anticipated the day I would go to college. I yearned for independence, freedom, and the ability to act upon any impulse I had. Something I was never, and still am not able to do under my parents roof. During the time when I was supposed to be receiving acceptance letters from colleges I received the most life changing news and to think it came in a box that costs $15. From the moment on everything has been different for me. I instantly became more mature, in the sense that everything I did then and still do now has one name and that is Elijah. Ironically enough a week later I got my acceptance letter from Bentley University(Where I am currently attending)

Instantly had overwhelming flow of questions: How am I going to college? How will I commute? Can I live on campus with the baby? Who’s going to take care of the baby? How am I going to study?

All I really knew at that point was that I was going to be a full time mom and a full time student some way some how.

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I currently work part time, and am pursuing an accounting degree while being a single mom. The most impacting thing to me about this whole process has been all that I have lost, that I wasn’t expecting. That “strong relationship that I thought would last a lifetime evidently had an expiration date. Through the birth of my son I realized he and I were on two co

mpletely different pages, and our priorities were completely different. This took a toll in our relationship and all I could think of was “If mommy isn’t happy baby isn’t happy”, and through this constant reminder a finally built the courage to end what I had worked on and built for an extended period of time. Despite yearning to give my son the perfect family to grow up with.

Despite what I have lost, I have gained a lot more. My son for one, and I gained an amazing relationship with my family. They have been more than helpful and love my son more than they love me, which I am truly thankful for. Lastly, my amazing friends who ensure I maintain my sanity in times of stress. My son has more aunties than me! This group of girls (who I will call [W]VICE) truly have made a difference in my life through being such a great support system. They do everything from taking care of Elijah to taking me out when I feel I’m at my breaking point. Although they don’t have babies, they are girls I can relate to and they have truly become my sisters. Just the fact that they deal with Elijah is enough proof of love to me.

My little handful is the light of my world! I thought I loved before he was born, but I had no idea what love was until I held him in my arms for the first time. I’m one of those moms that anything my son does makes me jump up and down with excitement and makes me feel like my son is a genius! To every mom their child is perfect, but I think MY SON is the most perfect of all babies. There’s no way for me to be unhappy around this child, and that’s the best part. When I have a bad day I can just come home and spend hours playing with him and it’s like nothing stressful ever happened. He is my motivation and for him I will conquer the world! I can’t imagine my life with out him.

It might sound cliche, but if I had the opportunity I would have waited (if and only if I could get Elijah Manuel Mendez, just how he is now). Not because I feel like I’m missing out on anything, but because I sometimes feel guilty that I can’t provide him with luxuries that I would have loved to give my children. In addition, if I would have waited I would have probably been able to give my son the family that I have dreamt of. I want to serve as a motivational tool for anyone I can make a difference for. In this society people like me, who come from nothing, and have babies young are deemed to fail, but I’m not going to. I REFUSE to let society dictate my life, and that is the message I want to convey to ALL young parents.

 

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