My name is Stacey Jackson, I’m 20 and I became a mommy at 18. Finding out I was pregnant at age 18 was hard for me at first, just because I was in my last year of high school, and set to go off to college. For a while I didn’t know whether I wanted to have the baby or not, but there was always that feeling there of me knowing I could never get rid of my baby.
I ended up hiding my pregnancy for 5 1/2 months only four people knew, my boyfriend , my sister, my friend, and I . I would go to my doctors appointments when it was lunch time at school, and secretly have ultrasounds. I wasn’t afraid for people to know. I think I was more scared of the thought of my life being over.
When I told my mom her reaction was happy for me. I knew she’d be ok with me being pregnant, I was 18, going to college I worked, and I supported myself already. My mom and one of my sisters were happy, but the rest of my family had a problem with it. As the months I really didn’t care what other people thought of me being pregnant.
I ended up graduating when I was six months pregnant in June of 2011. I chose to go to UMass Boston (deferring to the spring semester). Then on September 22, 2011, I had my beautiful baby boy Ethan. After I saw his face I knew I made the right decision. The biggest challenges for me so far hasn’t been financial, it hasn’t been dealing with the baby, or even relationship issues with Ethan’s dad, it’s even been my weight problem.
During my pregnancy I gained a normal amount of pregnancy weight, but when I had him after getting on birth control my weight soared and I began packing on pounds. Because of my weight, I have insecurities . I don’t feel like myself, and I’m very unhappy. No matter what I try to do to make myself feel good when I look in the mirror my self-esteem all comes crashing down. I try to go to the gym, I try to eat healthy, but none of it ever seems like it works.
@ProudToParent is something I came in contact with through one of my twitter friends. The #ProudtoParent chats have helped me see that I’m not the only one who had a baby at a young age and all my struggles are normal. Eventually I want these twitter chats to help young girls like me, and I hope one day girls or even guys can read them and know the exact feeling that I’m feeling. I didn’t have any one to talk to about my issues and most of the time I still don’t, so if I can help someone just by talking about my issues an struggles, I know I’ll be ok.