Hi, it’s Cora-Lee once again! Just a quick reminder I have a daughter that is 9 months (Sophia), and a stepson (Nicholas) that is 5 years old. My husband and I’ve been looking for ways to project positive discipline to our oldest. He’s around the age that he can definitely comprehend what’s right from wrong, but will test us here and there! It’s a struggle at times! So as parents we both knew that we had to set boundaries and create structure, because kids do need structure.
Now when we grew up we were disciplined the old fashion way which was physical. After talking about how we wanted to do punishments we decided we wanted to change the cycle and not repeat what our parents did. The type of effect that it had on us growing up was negative. I struggled with heavy depression, and aggression. I also battled with wondering if it was love my mother was doing it out of, or was it because she was upset with her personal life, and would take it out on me. Point is I just knew I never wanted to take the chance with my children, and it’d turn into me doing it out of my own frustration.
We researched and found some tips that we thought suited us, and what we wanted. And it will help us have a stronger, more peaceful connection with our kids!
1. Understand the meaning behind the behavior
2. Focusing on controlling ourselves rather than just focusing on the kids, because us as parents we can lose it in the heat of the moment, and might do something we regret.
3. Be consistent with your expectations
4. Give attention to the behavior you like not the behavior you don’t
5. Redirect (Exp. “A child acting up at the grocery store could be enlisted to help pick out oranges or rearrange the items in a grocery cart, or a kid running around a swimming pool might be challenged to walk “as if on marshmallows.”)
6. Exploit the energy drain (Ex. Cut that whining out, or stop fighting with your sibling because listening to that could cause me a big energy drain, and I don’t think I’ll have the energy to take you to the park after dinner.”
7. Don’t bribe!
At the end of the day I just want my kids to know that I love them and everything I do is for their well being and that I also have their best interest at heart. I never want them to feel or think anything less! Mommy’s always in your corner! 🙂