There are many things in my life I feel I can’t control, one being depression. I remember it started when I was 13 years old. About once or twice a year I would get really sad for a few weeks. I wouldn’t get hungry I wouldn’t want to get out of bed I just wanted to be alone. I hated feeling that way because I couldn’t find a reason for me to be depressed.
I remember when I was 14, I missed school for a week. I was so far behind in school and my teachers didn’t know what was going on. They only gave me the work and told me to get it done if not I would have stayed back. This was very frustrating and made things worse for me.
My family doesn’t believe in psychology or therapy for depression. They believe that is an excuse to act up or to make people feel bad for you. It was hard because I had no one to talk to about it and that was hard.
When I was depressed I had to fake my happiness and since I didn’t live with my parents they didn’t notice when I missed school. They didn’t notice when I was depressed or in need of their help. Even though I went through all those things.
Dealing with it on my own did make me grow stronger and more independent. But I realized that even though I had to control over my depression I wasn’t going to allow it to control the way I lived life. I learned to live with it and for some reason I don’t even notice when it comes back. I feel fine now and now, more than ever, I have a reason to be ok. My little boy keeps me happy alive and helps me remember that I can have some control. I can choose how I live and how I love.