As the holidays are here and going by, there is definitely an emotional roller coaster going on in my system. Thanksgiving has passed and it was my second one as a mom. Everyone knows you expect to have the greatest time with whomever you will spend it with and eat lots of food and really think about what you are grateful for, although it should be done every day of the year. Overall, in my eyes thanksgiving is suppose to be great and I expected it to be so, considering last year Jayden was so small he didn’t interact with my family but now that has 1, walking, talking, and eating on his own he would have a good time and so would I.
Unfortunately I put my hopes up a little too high and it turning out to be not so well made me crash into this emotional sadness hole that has lasted and makes me not want to celebrate anything else this year. My son was really sick and teething. It made him extra attached to me and being around so many people he probably didn’t recognize made it worse. His crying made me very aggravated but not as much as how my family’s comments did. all I heard the whole night was “well you decided to have a kid so young right, so carry him because he’s not going to stop crying ad he’s your responsibility” and “you have to deal with things your cousins don’t have to deal with” and “you can’t go black Friday shopping because you can’t take him out in the cold” and “oh maybe he’s hungry feed him, get him milk, why isn’t he drinking milk, you don’t take care of him right…” etc, etc.
They don’t realize that being a young parent I face enough shame as it is, and that at least this one day of the year they should be considerate and not throw things in my face. They don’t know my life and the struggles I face, why bring it to the table on a day that family is supposing loving towards one another. As a result of this night, I’d rather spend my holidays alone with my son and/or with those who can sit down with me and relate to my life. Maybe it’s that I am still stuck on how things were every year and got use to it, it made my holiday so horrible. It’s up to me to make myself happy around these times of year and be there for myself because expecting others to be there for you will make you feel bad in the end when there aren’t results you were looking for.
Honestly, I don’t know how many people can relate to situations like these but my overall message to other young parents is that no matter what you, deserve to have a great times just as anyone else and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise just because you have a kid.