Letting Go of Fear

Erika PictureMy 2 year old son, and my 11 month old daughter started school in September 2017. I got interested in taking my children to head start when someone told me about it during Steps. I decided to put my children at a head start close to where we live. I had to go through a process, and get them on a long wait list. I signed them up in July 2017. In that same month I got a phone call saying my son got into school, and was going to start school in September. I asked about my daughter, and they said there was no space for her, but a couple minutes later I got called back, and the same lady told me that my daughter was also accepted. That made my day. Although I was not working and my kids got into school, I was happy because I had goals for my children. Some that I could accomplish, some that I could not. My son needed other children his age to be with, and learn from, and they both needed a routine. I was so happy that I had no negative thoughts, and was ready for them to start school.

When September came along, we were ready for the first day of school. For first timers, parents had to attend two days of transition. The first day I went to the school two different times one for my son and one for my daughter; 2 hours each. It was hard because I had to do both while being pregnant, but I managed. I got to meet the teachers, and teacher assistants. There’s two teachers for every class. The next day which was a Thursday, it was also transition time but parents dropped off the kids stayed an hour then, went upstairs with the rest of the parents (to socialize, eat, and wait two hours until it was time to get the kids). On Friday was a full day and parents could not stay. From then on it got real.

My kids were not adjusting too well. I would drop them off, and they would both cry really bad. I learned the first day that I had to say bye, see you later, and that I was coming back to my children; I could not sneak away like I thought so they would not cry. The teacher let me know I had to let them know I was leaving, but that I would be back. My daughter’s teacher also advised me until they got use to school I should go pick them up early and that I did. Weeks went by and they still were not adjusting. They cried, no nap time, and no eating. I was really worried especially when my son told me he did not want to go to school over and over. Scary thoughts started coming to my head. I did not know what to do, and my mom’s opinions were not helping.

I was not trying to get them to attend school so that I can have the day to myself, but for a couple of reasons. I wanted them to grow, and be better. Get use to school, be able to go through a routine, socialize with kids their age, and learn different things I was not teaching them (because education does start at home but sometimes you as a parent do not know everything). As time went on my children were adjusting. My daughter adjusted faster than my son in less than a month. My son was still getting use to school, and having a routine. He was worrying me the most because during nap time he would cry really loud for hours. While crying he would yell my first name, so every adult that came around knew my name just didn’t know who I was. I was told by a couple of people “You’re the famous Erika”. That’s when I knew that the crying was bad.

So I took what I’ve been learning at a parenting class I go to called Raising with Love, and used it on my son. I decided to sit my 2 year old down, and have a conversation with him about school (my concerns and his teacher’s concerns). I took about 10 minutes to explain to him in a way he could understand. I told him that he should sleep in school, and behave because that was going to be beneficial for him. I told him he had to be a good boy because he was one. I told him that he had to sleep in school so that when I went to go pick him up he would be able to come home eat and play. I also told him that he had to behave with the other children at school, and he had to be gentle with the other kids and his little sister. I guess my little talk with him worked because he changed. Now he naps sometimes, and sometimes he does not but lays in the bed (without crying). He’s eating some things, and is being more gentle. His teacher has been telling me that the talk worked, and that he has been having excellent days. I feel so much better now, and am very happy with my children. I love that they are doing good in school, and are behaving because that was driving me crazy, and all I want is for them to do good (that is also why I’m taking parenting classes so it can help me too). Now I will be getting more involved in my children’s school because I know they can handle me being there because they are doing good in school. I do anything for them.

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